Good afternoon, friends. Today is a good day. The sun is actually peeking out from behind a cloud and I'm so excited! For those family members following this blog in southern CA, this is probably no big deal, but for those of us here in the Hanford area, it's been foggy and wet and ugly and we haven't seen the sun for over a week. So thank you Lord for a little bit of sunshine today!
My hair is starting to fall out. It started slowly last Fri. 12/5, and each day since then more and more falls out. There's hair all over the place--the shower drain, the bathroom sink, my pillowcase, the backs of chairs--I'm shedding worse than our cats! It's not all gone yet, just looking thin and dry. I tried to blow dry it this morning, and small pieces of hair went flying around the bathroom mirror--once I quit crying it actually was pretty funny:).
I have to admit, this is upsetting me more than I thought it would. I've known losing my hair was coming for awile now, but now that it's actually here, I don't know why I'm bothered by it. What got to me was seeing a big pile of hair in the shower drain Saturday morning. I was washing my hair and put my hands through it to rinse the shampoo out, and hair just kept coming out in my hands. Then I looked down at the drain and saw all that hair (kinda looked like a dead mouse:), and I just started crying. Then I got mad at myself for crying, because, after all, it is just hair, and I've never thought I was very vain about my hair and looks before, but, hey, this was my hair disappearing in front of me. My friend Mary Stryd said it's okay to be sad about it because my hair is part of me, and I have no control over the fact that it's "going down the drain". That made sense to me, so I felt better about being a big crybaby. Then she drove us to go get pedicures and I felt much better. My hair may be falling out, but, gosh, my toes look good! Thanks, Mary, for the fun time!
So now that I'm over my pitty party, I'm reminded once again how truly good our God is. This whole journey He has, and will continue to be right here with me, getting me through each step. Whether it's something as huge as guiding the Dr.'s hands during tumor-removal surgery and getting better results than first expected, or something as small (but still important to me) as sending a friend to help me find some perspective and humor about my hair in the drain, God keeps reminding me that He's here--and He's got me in the palm of His hand. It's a good place to be.
Okay, that's it for now. Me and my scarf-covered head are going outside for a little while, before the sun disappears again for another week!
Love to you all, Stacey
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9 comments:
Hey Stacy-
Glad it's winter so you can wear an array of tasteful hats! Not like you husband and his Giants hats.
I share your enthusiasm for seeing the sun today. What a treat.
My offer still stands if you need some maui wowi to help with that nausea.
Praying for your strength and your counts. Tim
Hello Friend.
What an experience... I can not imagine. However, just think when it comes back how full and lovely it will be!
You can only control what is in your power- and hair falling out isn't one of those things, but you can control how you handle the situation and what you will learn from it will be an amazing feat. Think of what you'll be able to tell someone else who will have to go through the same thing! Yes, crying, saddness and anger will come and go, but the positive spirit within and the shine of your beautiful head will overcome it all. Try something new- wear a cap, a beannie, a scarf, a wrap, or even a hair piece! There are lots of possibilities out there... keep searching until you find one that makes you comfortable in your own skin and keep smiling friend. There are lots of us standing behind, next too and with you. Happy Sunny day- Happy Hump day and Happy Holidays Stacey... hope to see you soon. :-) Stacy C. and family
Good Morning Stacy...
Looks like the sun will be out again this morning. Enjoy it!
One suggestion about the hair loss. Please don't comb the back or sides over to cover the top! You are right. It is just hair and it will come back. Maybe you'll be a blond this time.
Keep up your wonderful attitude. I am praying for you. God will be beside you even when we can't be there with you!
When you need a little excitement come on over to my house. There is never a dull moment with all the kids running around. It will remind you why you only had 2.
Love ya...Kim
I'm such a dork, I spelled your name wrong!
Stacey
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Hi Stacey,
Yes you are right the sunshine was beautiful yesterday and today.
I can't tell you that it's only hair and it will grow back because I would of felt the same way. My hair is a big deal to me I totally respect how you felt and that you cried. Crying is good, it great relieve for many of things and you can cry anytime you want to!
You have a tremedous outlook on life and you will get through this. You will have ups and downs and that is normal so don't EVER question why are you doing this because you can.
God is looking out for you and has a plan that will take you through ups and downs and when it's all said and done...you did it Stacey.
Keep the faith...Love ya, JoAnne Fagundes
Hi Friend~
I had a dream about you last night... I saw you as a FLOWING BLOND, as a RED HEAD WITH CURLS, and as the MOST BEAUTIFUL BALD WOMAN EVER! It was the oddest dream, but I kept running in to you in different places.
Keep smiling friend, and take your pick... you could have a different look every day! :-) Stacy and Family
Hi mom! Ill shave my head when i come home will that make you feel better? You know this going bald is just getting back at you for making fun of my charlie brown head when i had lice in the third grade. ;) just kidding. Any way hope this made you laugh and ill call you tomorrow. Love
Your favorite son
I have been patiently waiting to find this blog so that I can see just how your progress is going and to let you know that I pray for you everyday. I read it all. I shed a little tear at the post about your hair. A little in sadness, alot in how you allow us all to feel so much a part of this journey and that YOU remind US just how greatful we all should be. I thank you for shedding some light and perspective. Remember it is your amazing, welcoming smile, your humor and your kindness that we all love about you...that is something that chemo cannot change. - Laura
Hi Stacey....
Aaron just told me about this blog and I was so excited to hear about it. Just wanted to let you know that I am always thinking and praying for you. I miss you so much and I can't wait to be home just to be around you... and be able to hang out with you and your family. I absolutely loved thanksgiving with your family and I can't wait to see you again around Christmas. Aaron and I got you a little something from Disneyland and I hope you love it and enjoy it throughout the holidays. Anyways, I have to run to class, but I wanted to send you some love and let you know I think about you everyday. Love you...
Mo
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